Chapter 2 – Reconnecting with My Why and POV

by Mrs. Xennial

I noticed I haven’t really continued the story, and it was fun to go over some of the previous posts for myself. We are now in Washington for the third year, and much was learned during this time all while we learn how to cope with COVID. Last week, I joined a meeting in All FIRE Connect!, where only ladies were invited since one of the members does this “ladies’ money talk” locally where she’s at, and a subject like this can bother people of different gender differently, I guess. During the meeting, one thing I learned is that almost everyone thinks that FI means more freedom and more option; and definitely less dependence.

For me? Yep, totally the same. In addition to that, my main why is still the same:

My why of FI has been to find breathing room in life so I can actually enjoy it. Enjoy it with my family, and actually spend quality time with them.

-from my “Long Long Time Ago” post

Interestingly, in my Chapter 1 (dated December 14, 2019 BC, “BEFORE COVID”), I had mentioned about how I was loving my first job here because I had one job, comparing to the one I had in Hawaii, where I was expected to perform 2.5 job’s duties with $50 pay raise. Well that changed very quickly in 2020 going on 2021, when the massive layoffs also forced everyone at work to take on more. It was one of the main reasons that caused my departure even though I was expecting a pay cut. Leaving a comfortable job isn’t easy; but the word “comfortable” here is used rather loosely. It’s only comfortable because of the level of benefit; but the pay isn’t all that outstanding or impressive by any means. But more importantly, while I was slaving away with the additional tasks, I started to go back to the work mode I was in when I was in Hawaii: more work with no extra pay, and less and less time with my family (even though I worked from home til the last day of my employment with that job).

I worked from home and still didn’t have time for my family? Yep, you read that right. I knew something was wrong when dog-walking becomes such a tedious chore, and our cats wanting their lunch mid-day became a daily annoyance. Mind you: it wasn’t something new; they always had lunch around 3pm (even though they could start to annoy me starting 1:30pm some days). So much so, as we lost a Xennial K-9 and a Xennial Feline in the fall of 2021, I questioned myself: how much time did I really spend with them? The Xennial Feline that passed away had been with me for 19 years of his life, and I still wonder how much quality time I got to really spend with him during the 19 years… when he was younger, I partied a lot; when he’s a bit older, I worked a lot. I think it was that kind of reflection that forced me to re-evaluate the real worth of my former employment. And thus, once an opportunity arose, I jumped ship.

While I believe the bigger, better things are still in store for me, I know this phase, even with a pay cut, is good for me. I don’t think I’ve not had Monday Scaries for most of my professional life, and my current job now doesn’t give me that for the most part. I also never thought I’d be logging off on time for any employment; but I have that now, and I sign off everyday on time without guilt. I don’t think the level of benefits could compare, which I had expected walking in this position; but knowing how much money I put in for healthcare coverage? It might just be comparable especially because I was paying for two (Mr. Xennial’s health coverage was under me for a while). Maybe that’s it; I just need to change the mindset and know that while it seems like I’m paying more out of pocket, the total amount may just be less. (That said, I sincerely feel that the healthcare system in the US is really messed up. But that’s another day, another post.)

Going over my post along with reflecting on the FI conversation with the ladies, I realized that I really should reconnect with my why for FI every now and then, and really adjust my mindset and re-align. We are only here for a limited amount of time (even more so for the Xennial K-9 and Felines), so spend more time with the ones you love, and enjoy life. 🙂

What’s your why for FI?