Welp, it’s official: I’ve spent over budget this month. It isn’t a whole lot, but this is not counting some money I originally plan to set aside to save as well as counting some categories that were over budgeted (such as power, which I budgeted much higher, thinking I’d keep the rest in the account in case of higher months later this year). It really isn’t that bad considering part of the additional spending is for personal development: I invested in a set of TRX straps, which I got a discount for, and that’s about $88 (regular price is $99 before tax); and I also bought a ticket to the The Financial Independence Summit from The Financial Diet, which was at $25 for early bird pricing, so I snagged it as an investment for my personal finance journey.
Now, does this have something to do with the inflation? To a certain degree. I gave in and went to the Grocery Outlet last weekend to stock up on some veggies and some other things, so grocery budget was definitely over. But it is also more about my dwindling mental health, and thus definitely overspent in shopping category (because retail therapy is a thing…even though I was only getting things that didn’t cost much and were mostly items I need). If you know anything about retail therapy, you know that temporary high doesn’t last. Here, let me explain a little here:
Honestly, the first time I went to TJ Maxx, I wasn’t in a great head space. My boss had decided to lay off two people from the team the Friday before, and somehow the emotions hit me on Monday and I was bummed (I’m a “slow feeler” of emotions, btw). Sure, I still have my job, and would consider myself somewhat essential; but that whole event happened so fast, I was starting to get a bit of a traumatic flashback from my previous job, where team members were laid off out of the blue on a very short notice. Witnessing it in a government job was bad; witnessing it in a small business didn’t have less impact. In addition, Mr. Xennial was handling his own situation that particular Monday, too, and despite my coming home with a temporary high from my retail therapy, it didn’t last at all.
Then came the weekend, and I had the car. I went out again on a hunt for storage options and maybe another dog bed (which are two things I’ve been thinking about getting too). I had an appointment on Saturday morning, so I took a few hours to go to several places for shopping and running errands, too. Hence the second trip to TJ Maxx, and I even got myself a boba tea as an attempt to feel more chipper (which somewhat helped). I did notice that I keep thinking about things to buy; and even though I didn’t always give in and spend that money, I noticed the increasing urge to buy random crap, or just this random search of the “this will do” kind of purchase.
While I was still working on my mental health, I also noticed that I wanted to eat out more, or that I didn’t want to cook as much. A friend of mine said that her therapist told her that ordering takeout is actually a “reward mechanism” we could use in times when we aren’t feeling the greatest, and somehow that kept lingering in my head whenever I’m having a moment. It started with a couple of cups of boba tea, then I started to think about Vietnamese sandwich, pho, bun bo hue, greasy Chinese food, fried chicken wing, bar food…(Yes, my comfort food is very international.) Thankfully, it all remained to be just thinking, or I probably will be farther from my March budget.
While this isn’t the first time I take a detour on budgeting, this is the first time I’m paying close attention to it as it happens, and reflecting on the mistakes instead of avoiding it all together. That being said, I wanted to share a few things from my own experience:
- Shit happens, and that’s why Emergency Fund is important! – I’m always very grateful that we have money in our savings and that became my cushion in times like this. I make note on a separate notebook to let myself know how much I “borrowed” from the Emergency Fund, with the intention to put back little by little whenever I could. Knowing that borrowing from myself doesn’t have that 16%+ interest is also very comforting, and I plan to work on paying myself back with future months’ budgeting.
- Mental health definitely has a direct impact on your personal finance. – For me, when I’m having an episode, retail therapy somehow always comes to mind. I don’t always give in, but it isn’t always easy either. That “treat yourself” mentality creeps in easily when I’m in a bad mood, and it really challenges my hope not to buy random shit for 2022. I make sure to journal about my thoughts and all (and keep track of it so I can report to/discuss with my therapist), and try my best not to give in. Don’t be surprised if you see me in a TJ Maxx talking to myself… I’m just having a conversation with myself to see the necessity of this item in my hands. And I also try to give myself grace, too. If something doesn’t work, I can return it later, but that would require me doing that “reverse walk of shame,” which is a small price to pay (or to take back).
- Don’t be so hard on yourself; we can always make up for it. – Regardless of the income level, we can always have our moments when we give in and splurge a little too much especially when you need a picker-upper like I did last week. For me, that could be a trip or two to TJ Maxx or a good local restaurant, but those aren’t going to be that detrimental for my budget. Sure, if you were to hit up a Tesla dealership and walk out with a new ride, that would be a different story. That said, if you do that, I highly recommend that you book an emergency sesh with your therapist, too.
With 4 more days til March ends, I sure hope I don’t go farther into the rabbit hole. I still plan to sit down and do an end-of-the-month review on my budget to see how much I should work on paying back, not so much to make myself feel bad, but to hold myself accountable. I sure hope you all are doing well on your current budget, and that you already have a plan to deal with the inflation, too. If you did, what are your tips? I’d love to learn more from you all, too. š
Xennials on FI/RE 
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