[Fair warning: this post does not consist much of tips or tricks; this is more of a reflection blog about what I’m doing to cope…]
A week and half or so ago, we were invited to a neighbor’s house (let’s call her N) for a farewell party. Another neighbor (R) who walks her dogs with us regularly is moving away to North Carolina at the end of the month, so N threw a pizza party and invited all of us and our dogs so we can chat and give our best wishes to R before her move. This party, which was a bitter sweet in and of itself, triggered lots of talks about personal finance because time is tough for everyone.
N started sharing about her situation, and R and I were feeling the heart-felt “confession” in a way because as a mother of two kids, it hasn’t been easy since 2020 slapped everyone in the face. In fairness, part of why R is moving is because she is looking to move to a place with lower cost of living, and is going to move in with her mother to also help take care of her at the same time.
While part of me was trying to be encouraging, and while we have our own emergency fund as a buffer, as a cushion, I can’t help but notice how our everyday spending is going up and up even without any splurge. A trip to Costco was almost always between $100 – $200 for us not too long ago; it’s now creeping up to over $200 (again, no particular splurge of any kind), and regular grocery shopping to our favorite Grocery Outlet costs us more already, too. Not to mention we are now pretty much restricting our trips to Safeway for only canned food for Xennial K-9 and pharmacy (for the most part), and neither is getting any cheaper.
As much as I’m a slow poke when it comes to emotions and feelings, this also takes me a while to really settle in. And for the past two weeks or so, if I have to be honest, I’m SCARED AF. Not only does everything cost more, but the dwindling stock market is also pushing our net worth lower than it was a few weeks ago. I feel like it was only yesterday that I was proud of our 20% mark of accumulation phase, and now we are officially lower than the $200k mark. Sure; the market won’t stay low everyday, and it’s bound to bounce back. But does it affect my mental health when it comes to our finances? ABSO-fucking-LUTELY.
Somehow this whole thing reminds me of what I’ve shared with my therapist: when it comes to personal finance, I know if I plan ahead, I’d feel better. Yet, I haven’t done the June budget re-check, nor do I want to dig deep into July’s budget just quite yet (although I still manage to keep up with jotting down the expenses and loosely follow the app to tell me my remaining budget, which seems to be going FAST). And this Sunday, I feel like I’m coping by doing something I know, and that I can control: CLEAN THE DAMN HOUSE! I went nuts: I swept the floor, did laundry (which I do every weekend), reorganized our guest bedroom (which is also my yoga room), dusted all the surfaces I ignored, move my clothes from guest closet to ours and reorganized, and wipe down window sills and our walls (this has been on my mind for a while but just didn’t get around to it til today).
While cleaning the house instead of reviewing budget can potentially fall into the category of “procrastination,” which I’m pretty sure I have an Olympic Gold Medal for, doing so not only keeps our living quarter clean, but it provides a sense of sanity for me. I remember how out of order and how messy our house was when I was in the deep end of depression; and by avoiding the mess, I’m also avoiding letting myself get into that deep end again.
Another thing I plan to do is to really take it easy, and maybe just cut myself some slack with the situation that is beyond my control. I also still plan to talk to my boss about a pay raise (even though I borderline feel like she might have been avoiding me), start my own coaching business, and potentially pick up a side gig too if I could swing all that without overworking. I still haven’t given up the hope to start my own thing, but keeping my day job seems to give me a sense of calm for now since it is still a good source of income (and that I do enjoy the work).
Finally, I also plan to keep up with what I have scheduled and planned for July and August, which includes some things I have planned for treating myself, and a quick trip to AZ to visit a friend. I still think that these are great opportunities for me to step out of the usual routine and find joy in some things in life, and while these things do cost me money, I don’t think I’d regret these, really. I still think in the midst of this shit storm, prioritizing myself is still more important now than EVER.
Sorry if this isn’t so much of a helpful blog entry, but my hope is for some of you out there to feel that you are not alone in this. And hopefully also for myself to feel like I’m not alone in this, either. Let’s keep our chin up, and work on taking one step at a time. 🙂
Xennials on FI/RE 
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