Comparisonitis in FI

This is my 4th year of my FI journey, and I’m not gonna lie: the comparisonitis is strong sometimes especially when my mental health isn’t at its best shape. When I was at the Camp Mustache, one realization (or reminder) is this: it’s not about how much you make; it’s the percentage of your savings that determines your path to FI.

It’s also easier said than done….in a sense.

I know I’m at a good place with my savings rate; but with the inflation going strong, it cuts into our already pretty essential budget and thus messed with the percentage of my savings. Did it give me an anxiety attack? Sort of; since I’m in no way wanting to start eating skimpy cup noodles 3x a day and cut my meal size in half just because. (Note: I do love my cup noodles, and I do enjoy different instant noodles that I can get from Asian stores. I just seldom do cup noodle as is… Most days I have to “pimp it” and add veggies, sometimes an egg and slices of meat or cubes of tofu… it’s a thing for me, and I’m not giving up on my “fancy noodle regimen.”)

I know, I know… in times like this, often I see the suggestion is to make more money if a pay raise isn’t necessarily on the horizon yet. So on that note, I’ve applied to a PT side gig that aligns with my values (and looking for other side gigs or even FT gig that is what I truly enjoy) and plan to use what I earn from that position strategically and continue with our merry, frugal way of living.

But I also realize that I need to really drop my intrusive thoughts on that comparisonitis with salary. It can be challenging at times when I kept thinking “it’d be nice to make 6-figure income because I can save so much more.” Luckily, I encountered a few situations at work that helped ground me in a way. During the day, I work remotely with clients who want to start their own online business (I don’t own the company; this is a W-2 position), and our clients are mainly health professionals. Normally, the thoughts when it comes to these healthcare professionals are that they make big bucks, and that they have fancy everything on display. Some of them? Perhaps. Some have everyday struggles just the same. I try not to dive into the deets of my clients’ personal lives even though I am “friends” with them on social media (which is part of my job, really).

Usually, when they onboard, I’d see on their intake form that we have $2k – $10k for monthly salary. Don’t ask me what those ones who put $2k in their box have done wrong; I really don’t know that much. But do I get somewhat jealous when I see $4k+ for monthly salaries. And If I see them as clients? Chances are they want to make more (or hope to). Now, there’s nothing wrong with wanting bigger paychecks imo. And most of their intentions are genuinely very nice because they want to create preventative healthcare to replace this “sick-care” system we have right now. And that’s why I enjoy what I do, really. It helps when I can stand behind what my clients are trying to achieve.

Now, here is the thing. Of those who make $4K+ a month, we recently had some hiccups with some of their payments. I’ve personally sat in some meetings to find out what happened, and one of the stories hit home. One of the physicians we worked with had an emergency and thus was negotiating the payment dates. Since they are on a payment plan, while we couldn’t pause indefinitely, we just need to sort out the details and find out what’s up before we try to meet each other half way. (Note: to avoid gender preference in the description, I’m using they as the pronoun for this person.)

As a healthcare professional themself, they had an emergency procedure that was announced by their own list of physicians here in the US. Knowing that the said procedure would cost quite a bit within the US, they decided to do the medical tourism thing and went to another country for the procedure, which would cost much less comparatively. Turned out, it cost them $9K in total (not including the lodging and flights, etc.) because the original suggested procedure turned out to be only half of what they needed, and the doctor in the other country said that additional procedures needed to be added to ensure their wellbeing. While this $9K probably would have easily doubled in the US, and that traveling to that particular country isn’t known to be super expensive, this $9K had crippled them financially.

To make things worse, because they had a trip planned before the whole medical shenanigan happened, after the procedures were done, they thought of cancelling the trip just because. Yet, they decided last-minute that since everything was booked in their name, and their friends were “counting on them” to make the trip happen, they decided to go anyway. Whether this part of their choice is being financially irresponsible is truly up to an individual, really, since I feel like sometimes a getaway can truly take your minds off of horrible shits that hit the fan. But if you ask me if I’d take that trip? Probably not especially if I’m digging a pretty big hole in my emergency fund.

Now, what happened to them? After two weeks of failed payment, we finally got a payment through. So we had thought that business is back to usual… until two weeks later the payment failed again three times (which is likely to end up in collection). The whole point of the story for me, though, is that no matter how much monthly income you make, you can still be financially illiterate to a certain degree; and that any high income earners can still live paycheck to paycheck, and one financial surprise could cripple you if you aren’t careful with your money. Money should be a tool to help you do things; it shouldn’t turn into a roadblock or an obstacle of your wellbeing.

I sure hope this story also helped you with your comparisonitis, and if you have any stories to share, I’d love to see them for sure. 🙂